Ted, what in the name of gravy bones are you doing now?

I’m practising my air guitar

In wellies and a straw hat? Your wellies don’t even fit, or match!

Well you try and find a pair of four matching wellies in my size, it’s very difficult. Clothing manufacturers simply don’t make their stuff for the likes of us.

That my dear Ted, is because we’re dogs

Just because that’s true doesn’t stop it from making me sad.

Okay, but that still doesn’t answer the question as to why you’re stood on your hind legs in front of the mirror pretending to be Buddy Holly.

Buddy Holly? Sounds like the poodle down the road. No, I want to be like Tom Fletcher from McFly.

BUT WHY?!

Because I overheard Mattie and Max talking, and it sounds like we’re all going to Glastonbury! This is it! This is my chance! This is my time to shine!

Errrr, I hate to break it to you Ted, but they don’t play air guitars at Glastonbury they play real guitars. And we aren’t going.

We’re not…. going? But they said we are!

They are, but we aren’t! We’re going to stay with Buddy Holly the poodle – maybe he can give you some guitar tips.

Oh.

Don’t be sad Ted, we can watch all the coverage from the comfort of Buddy’s living room whilst munching pigs ears. You don’t like mud between your toes anyway.

Mud?! No-one told me about mud! Quite right, we should definitely stay here and hold the fort whilst they’re away having a brilliant time with the mud and the real guitars. Properties won’t let themselves! Perhaps I’ll finally be allowed to talk to a landlord on the phone!

*sigh* well reader, at least he’s gone off the idea of Glasto!